“Help me! Vanderbilt came to my school and said they like social entrepreneurship. My essay’s about my family dinner. Should I change my essay?”
We're used to getting messages like this every year!
“The Yale admissions rep said they want ethical leaders, but my essay is about teaching dance to kids…”
“UC Berkeley talked about global citizens, but my essay is about my home town rowing club…”
You’ve dug deep, written draft after draft, massaged every line and hit “save as.” You have researched and visited several schools, fell in love with one and committed to an early decision or early action. Now, rightfully, you are thinking of all the ways you could make your application stronger with your top-choice school, including tweaking your essay. But should you do it?
Don't sweat it.
The answer to this question for most of you is a categorical NO: you should not tweak your essay for your ED school. If your essay centers on a personal narrative in which you pursue and reflect on one of your interests, even a seemingly small and mundane one, then you are on the right track. (Stories about family dinners and teaching dance classes can work very well!) Your supplements are where you should share your specific interests in your ED school (see below) and your essay should stand alone as a portrait of your strengths of character and drive to learn.
So no need to borrow trouble and tweak your college essay so you sound like a “social entrepreneur” or “ethical leader” or whatever else you learned your dream school says it’s looking for. (Admissions officers can tell when you’re putting on airs.) These are buzzy terms for what all schools want: curious, self-motivated, smart, engaged HUMAN BEINGS: people who will use their school like a giant personal research facility, take their education into their own hands, pursue what piques their mind, and join and lead groups outside of the classroom.
But what about the exceptions?
For a slim group of you, the answer to the above question is a qualified “maybe.”
To help you decide whether a strategic tweak to your essay is right for your ED application, please go through the below questions and suggestions.
Does your ED school have a “why this school?” supplement?
Yes? Then don’t tweak your essay. Your supplement will be all the space you need to share your desire for that specific school.
No? Then move to the next question.
Does your ED school have a “favorite activity” supplement?
Yes? Tell a story in which you pursue a passion (other than the passion in you main essay) and how you would pursue it or keep it alive at the ED school.
No? Then move to the next question.
Does your ED school have any supplements at all?
Yes? Whatever the topic is, tell a story in which you pursue what you already love to study, create, lead, nerd out about and at the end, how you would pursue it at this ED school.
No? This is where you might consider adding a tweak to your main essay. As you may be guessing by now, you could imagine how you would pursue your passion at this ED school at the end of your essay, but keep it brief. They don’t want a sales pitch. They want to learn what makes you tick. Literally, one line near the end is all you need.
“I see myself recreating family dinners with other students at Vanderbilt and, like at home, facilitate a circle sharing where needs and leads are matched.”
“At Yale, I will keep a pair of Maria’s ballet shoes in my dorm room to remind me that empowering others starts with walking in their shoes for a while.”
What else can I do to improve my application with my ED school?
Contact your ED school’s admissions officer for your region and straight up ask them how you can do what you love at their school. A specific club you don’t see in their student club list? A dance or music group that doesn’t exist? Ask about how to start it. Meet them in person when you tour the campus or if they come to your school for a college fair. These admissions officers do remember the students who personally reach out, and it can make the difference between you and someone else. You can get their contact from the school’s website or from your high school college counselor.
The service trip to Nicaragua, the internship at the prestigious institution, the big championship game… talking about such things will come off as gloating and that always fails (leave these items for the application section). Rather, what you care about, nerd out about, can talk 'til 2am about, that’s what will get their attention.
Meet Justin Taylor
Justin is a college application expert with more than ten years experience helping students raise their admissions prospects. Yale, Georgetown, Vanderbilt, Boston College, and NYU are some recent admits for happy students. He has taught writing at Yale University, Wesleyan University, the Sorbonne, in high schools and privately throughout New York City with all ages.
Call us today at 212-519-1981 or email email@example.com
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